Group: Pitch feedback

NB: A central concept to our script was causing audience engagement - by including videos and pictures, and little or no text - the audience was able to concentrate on what we were saying; meaning we received more useful feedback on our actual concept. Moreover - a script meant our pitch was fluid.

 

Feedback

Advantages of our concept

• We received positive feedback regarding the representation of the antagonist - and the audience also offered further slight details which would strengthen this representation. For example - the inclusion of a number of small plants, which the antagonist cuts using small, precise nail-scissors.
• Name - the purpose behind our name was realised, understood, and praised.
• Use of visuals - the pitch included a huge amount of pictures, audio, and videos - which had the desired effect; causing audience engagement and making the concept seem more real and achievable.

Aspects which need improvement

• Confusing genres - our concept is centralised around the psychological horror sub-genre, however - the audience informed us that one of our potential scenes - where the book appears to flick through pages; has supernatural connotations. Therefore - we have decided we will achieve the book pages opening through the scene where the antagonist opens the door, causing a breeze to blow the pages of the book and reveal the content of the booklet.
• Conflicting connotations - an error was identified by our audience in terms of conflicting connotations; that the final scene with a series of bodies under a white cloth covered in blood, and the final action where the antagonist moves towards one body with a saw - conflicted with our whole OCD representation of the antagonist. Therefore - we have decided to change the ending of our final scene. Potentially - we have discussed the white cloth covering the victims to have 'cutting lines' in quarters, which draws a parallel with the previous dissection of the fly, and reinforces the nature of the antagonist, rather than undermining it. It is also in this scene where the jars will be revealed. This is because a cleaner, more precise killing would conform further to our concept than a bloody, messy killing. We aim to avoid mixed messages and achieve continuity.

Potential new ideas

• To link into the meticulous, and OCD nature of our antagonist - a potential new idea is to have labelled, organised jars with body parts in each jar.